Miah stared at the carpet between her feet, taking it all in. She wanted to ask Ben more about who Amy was. Both he and Connor had reacted to her death in anger, and she wondered if either of them had been attached to her. Or possibly both. But ever since she’d met Ben at a camp, he’d never showed favoritism to any other girls over her. He’d never talked about anyone like that. She knew it wasn’t breaking any rules or promises for him to be such good friends with another girl, but she’d had the feeling that she was his best friend.
She looked at him and felt as though, if her fears were true, so many things she believed in were a lie. She wanted to be mad at him, but she couldn’t help feeling that there must be some misunderstanding. And she felt awkward talking to him in front of Connor, who she hardly knew. She sighed, starting to feel the sheer weight of the whole situation settle upon her. Lifting a hand to brush the hair from her forehead, she realized she was shaking.
Connor, seeming to sense her discomfort, stood to get a drink from the refrigerator. While he occupied himself, Ben moved his chair closer to Miah’s, reaching to put an arm around her. She gratefully leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling the strength ebb from her body as her previous adrenaline left her system.
“This is crazy,” she whispered, taking shallow breaths and closing her eyes.
“Hey, I know…” He swallowed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any of this before.”
“It wouldn’t have done anything but make me worry unnecessarily,” she told him gently, and tried to figure out how to say what she was thinking. Her mind slowed like her mother’s electric mixer trying to mix too much sticky batter. Far too many thoughts were clogging her brain, and it was slowing her down. And what had she eaten for breakfast, a pancake? She had nothing to keep her upright in the first place.
“Amy was Connor’s girl,” Ben added then, smoothing her shoulder with a thumb, “but we’d become great friends in such a short time. I just couldn’t figure out how to tell you though email without you freaking out about it.”
Whether Connor heard or not, he didn’t let on, and Miah sighed. “I’m sorry you had a reason to worry you’d upset me.”
“Hah. Upset you? You kidding?”
She elbowed him and he laughed, poking her back. Connor walked up and handed them both a glass of water. “Here,” he muttered, sitting back in his seat.
After taking a drink, Miah realized how thirsty she had been. “Thank you,” she said, gulping down the rest as quietly as she could manage.
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